Highlights of My Week

Dear readers, I apologize for being so bad about my postings lately. Sure, I've been keeping up with my National Poetry Month poetry blitz, but I haven't been blogging much of anything else lately. Things are winding down for the semester--my last semester of coursework for my MFA in Creative Writing--and needless to say, I have plenty to work on: a 12-page paper, my thesis, a graduate research presentation, and compiling a syllabus for a final project. Not to mention wedding planning and job searching.

But don't worry, it's not all stress over here. There have been some great highlights in my week that keep me pushing forward, and positive. No matter how busy my schedule is, if I get a moment or two to really enjoy something unexpected, then it all seems okay by the end of the day. Here are some of my highlights of the week:

Carrot Cake Cupcakes

This week, for some reason, I've been craving carrot cake all week long. After every meal, I want some sweet cream cheese frosting atop a cute little carrot cake cupcake--and I'm embarrassed to say that I've given in and had FOUR in the past four days. (Sheepish grin.) Each of these little guilty treats have been a highlight to my crazy week. Let's hope that things slow down next week so I don't keep this little streak up.

Photo: weheartit

A Child's "Lemonade" Stand

One of my favorite moments of the week happened on Wednesday mid-morning when I was walking home from the gym. A little boy was positioned in front of his house, with a table of cupcakes, mini water bottles and some rocks with hand-drawn faces. "Would you like to buy something from me?" he asked. I scanned his table, and fell in love with one of his little rocks. "How much?" I asked. "Whatever you think it's worth," was his very good answer. "Two dollars?" I asked, and his face lit up. "Thank you very much," he said. "Have a great day!" And the smiley rock has become a perfect little paperweight on my desk.

Photo: weheartit

Potted Plants

To liven up our little apartment, I went out and got some green little friends to adorn the empty spaces on our shelves and tables (one of my lovely roommates is getting married and moving out). Their little green branches and leaves have made me very cheerful every time I enter the house. Now I just have to make sure that I don't neglect them.

Photo: weheartit

What kinds of things do you all do to make stressful weeks happier? Any hints for the future?

L. Stacks

Poetry Blitz, Nine.

Tonight's edition of book ends' National Poetry Month poetry blitz (read more about it here) is an extra-special edition for two reasons. First, because I am going to post a poem written by none other than yours truly, the very poem that is mentioned in this post--as requested by a faithful reader of mine. Second, tonight's post is special because today is an important day... the 5 year anniversary of the day T & I started dating. And the poem that I am posting just happens to be about him. So, happy anniversary, T!

Rain, Snow, and Other Weather

by Lauren Stacks

[Found in Time You Let Me In: 25 Poets Under 25]

I'm like the weather, never really can predict

when this rain cloud's gonna

burst; when it's the high or it's

the low, when you might need a light jacket.

Sometimes I'm the slush that sticks

to the bottom of your work pants,

but I can easily be the melting snowflakes

clinging to your long lashes.

I know that some people like:

sunny and seventy-five,

sunny and seventy-five,

sunny and seventy-five,

but you take me as I am and never

forget to pack an umbrella.

(c) Lauren Stacks

photo: weheartit

Why I Write

I had the loveliest thing ever happen to me last week, and I've been hemming and hawing over whether or not to share it here, because it might sound a little like I'm tooting my own horn. But I've decided to share because, ultimately, this little story is about writing--and why I, personally, write.

While I was in Denver, overwhelmed by the number of successful writers around me, it was easy to feel a little discouraged. Sure, I have three poems published in a delightful anthology, but the high from one's first publication can only last so long before a writer starts feeling pressure for another publication, and then another and another. But then, I went back to our hotel one night, and found a positively uplifting email in my inbox.

It went a little something like this: A woman, a librarian in upstate New York, emailed me and told me that she loved Naomi Shihab Nye, and had run out and picked up her anthology as soon as she heard about it. When she finished reading the book, she looked back at her favorite poems, and realized that a lot of them were, well, written by me. She could have simply ended the email right there, and I would have been giddy simply knowing that I had stood out in a anthology of 25 poets to someone out there. But, she continued: at a faculty meeting at her school, she had decided she wanted to read my poem, "Rain, Snow, and Other Weather," at the beginning of the meeting. She read aloud, but when she got to the last two lines, she found herself crying and unable to finish. One of her co-workers had to finish reading the last lines for her.

This, my friends, is why I write. And in the literary community, in an MFA program, and surround by successful writers, it is sometimes easy to forget about this. Many people write to be "artsy," to be published, or to make money. But what I've always loved about reading was how it could touch you, how the words could leap off the page and mean something, even though they came from someone else's mind, someone else's experience. In the past, I've been told that my poetry is "sentimental" and often, there is a touch of distain that comes with that word, especially when uttered by writers who reach only for the artistic. But me, I'm fine with being sentimental if it means that I can touch the average person, if it means that my writing can go beyond just the literary community, and into the lives of those who might not have an MFA or a PhD, who let my words show them a mirror of themselves.

L. Stacks

Photo: weheartit

Dork, Nerd, Dweeb or Geek?

Here's a little fun for my Friday post, because, well, we all need a little fun every once in a while, and this week especially I need some. I have been a little off in my postings, but I hope that after my weekend of cracking down and getting things done, I will be back to normal by next week.

I am cracking up over this image, which was found at thegreatwhitesnark.com by a friend of mine, and posted on her facebook:

I'm glad that I now know that I was incorrect in referring to my teenage self as a "nerd"--because, while I had the intelligence (I cried when I got my first, and only A-) and the obsession factors (I would read while walking home from school for heaven's sake), I fortunately was blessed to be socially competent. Therefore, it would be much more accurate to call myself a geek rather than a nerd. I'm so glad this has all been cleared up, aren't you?

Readers, while I'm sure you all are the coolest people on the planet, do any of you fall into these categories? How would you be labeled? (And do you agree with these definitions?)

Happy Friday,

L. Stacks

Photo: weheartit

Back in Chicago, Sea-Level

Lovely readers, I'm back from Denver, and while I had a great time during my whirlwind visit, I'm glad to be back at sea-level. I was really surprised how much the altitude messed with me--I woke up with headaches each morning, and felt exhausted by 10 p.m. each night. Chicago is now fully green and blooming, and all the extra air sure feels nice in my lungs. I only took a few pictures during my trip, so here a just a few:

16th Street Mall, with its Free Mallride and streets without any cars allowed

Cute Larimer Square, where I ate at a delicious French restaurant.

The Capital Building, in Capital Hill, where we stayed.

Overall, my trip was a blast. I did tons of writerly things--attended a reading by George Saunders and listened to Michael Chabon speak (and I'm currently reading his book The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay!). I got lots of free literary magazines, made some great contacts, and even had lunch with a friend whom I met on a plane ride in January!

I attended some great panels, and others that weren't so great. But they all had wonderful titles: Mommy, I'm Having an Existential Crisis!: Voices of Children in Fiction; All Around Bitch: The Challenges of Writing Unlikeable Female Protagonists; and Sick Humor: What's Not Funny About Serious Disease? On Saturday evening, we went out to what is apparently a Denver hotspot, The Whiskey Bar, where baseball fans could bring their ticket stub and get a free PBR after the game.

I'd definitely love to go back to Denver when I have more time. And I'm already planning on attending next year's AWP Conference in Washington D.C.--I just haven't told my fiance yet.

L. Stacks

Denver, Here I Come!

Well, readers, I'm jetting off to Denver, CO for a very busy 5-day trip. I will be attending the AWP conference, which, for those of you non-writers, is one of the biggest literary conversations in the nation, and includes over 8,000 guests each year. I'm excited to browse the bookfair (and pick up some new issues of literary magazines), attend panels (and hopefully receive some good writing advice) and mingle with some writer friends who I haven't seen a couple of years (and hopefully make some new ones). Not to mention, I'm planning on doing a little exploring of Denver, since I've never been before.

I'll try to post a little while I'm there, but it's going to depend on my internet connection and the amount of free time I'll have.

Mountain Time, here I come!

L. Stacks

Photo found here.

Happy Easter!

Dear readers, I hope you all had a lovely Easter, how ever you celebrate it. When I was younger, we would do the traditional egg hunt around our house, and my brother, sister and I would have to split all the candy we found equally (though we gave my sister most of the Tootsie Rolls, her favorite).

It's funny because my most vivid Easter memory actually doesn't have much to do with Easter at all. When I was probably eight or nine, I had received a pair of rollerblades for Christmas, but had a terrible time learning how to use them, on account of Michigan's snow and my tendency to be uncoordinated. It was on Easter Sunday of that year when I finally mastered the smooth gliding motion of my wheels, and soon could zip around the driveway, although I could only stop myself by rolling into the grass. Ha!

Now that it's nice in Chicago (well, besides tonight's little thunderstorm) I'll have to break out my rollerblades and see how much progress I've made since age eight. I'm pretty sure I'll still have a hard time stopping...

Happy Easter!

L. Stacks

Photo: weheartit

Spring is Here!

Some people might judge the arrival of spring by whether or not a silly little groundhog sees its shadow. To others, it might depend on whether it's balmy enough to go out with just a light jacket. If I wanted, I could judge spring's appearance by the presence of the man down the street out on his front porch swing, swaying back and forth all day long.

But for me, spring has really arrived once I see all the spring colors popping up in my neighborhood. Once I'm greeted by the yellows and purples and light greens that have been hidden under white snow, or dirty brown slush.

No matter how you decide whether or not spring has arrived, I think that it's certain that we can all agree (in Chicago, at least) that spring is finally here! And thank goodness.

L. Stacks

Lazing Around

This morning I woke up with a scratchy throat and a stuffy nose, and I'm afraid that means my weekend won't be as productive as I had previously hoped. I need to get a lot of writing done because I have a workshop piece due Monday evening, but all I want to do right now is curl up and doze. And maybe read a book, of course.

Cross your fingers for me that this won't end up as a full-blown cold, and that I'll be able to scrounge up some productivity in the next few days, okay? Thanks. :)

L. Stacks

Photo: weheartit & weheartit

Homecoming

"I'm coming home again." -Kanye West

Last Friday morning, I drove back home to Chicago from my little vacation in Michigan. As I rounded my way up Lakeshore Drive, the sleek buildings swelled before me, and, as always, I felt that moment of awe that I feel whenever I come back to this city. I'm not sure what it is about Chicago's skyline that makes me feel dizzy in appreciation--maybe the humbling experience of being so small next to all the steel and concrete--but all I know is that I've never been as infatuated with a place as I am here.

I never would have thought, growing up in a town with unpaved roads, plenty of open fields and streams, whose tallest building might be three stories high, that I would ever love a place like this, but it seems that my favorite scenery isn't any natural landscape, but instead man-made designs, rows of walk-ups, and plenty of windows. Many of my friends who live back in Michigan cannot fathom living in a city, walking around among strangers day in and day out, but I cannot imagine how the grandness of a bustling place like this couldn't get into your bloodstream after a couple of weeks here.

To cut to the point, I guess all that I'm really saying is that it's nice to be back in this city. To be inspired yet again by this place that is my home.

L. Stacks

[photo: rjseg1]

Happy St. Patty's Day!

It seems a little strange that today is St. Patrick's Day, since Chicago celebrated it (and celebrated it hard, at that) last Saturday. My college roommate was in town, and we took a trip downtown to see the Chicago River turned green. We were at the river at about 11 a.m., and it seemed that nearly everyone around us had been drinking since the crack of dawn. It was entertaining, to say the least.

I only took one picture of the green river, and that was with a little guy named Flat Stanley. My eight-year-old cousin had sent me Flat Stanley and asked me to be his "tour guide" in Chicago. I was instructed to take pictures and write a little story about his journey. It's a cute project for kids, and I found myself wishing that I could have done it myself when I was in second grade.

I've never really understood the big to-do about St. Patty's day--I feel like the meaning behind it has been totally lost in all the green beads and green beer. I'm sure it would probably help if I liked to drink any color beer at all. Either way, I'll try to scrounge up some green to wear so that my brother won't pinch me when he gets home from school.

L. Stacks

My Maid of Honor

One of the things that has been the hardest for me during this wedding-planning journey hasn't necessarily been figuring out the guest list, or choosing the caterer or even finding a wedding dress. Instead, the one thing that I keep thinking about is how to carve a place for my sister on my important day.

For those of you who don't know, my sister is a beautiful, happy, 21-year-old. She lives at home with my parents, is in school, and loves watching movies and sleeping. But she has Angelman's Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder on the autistic spectrum, and basically what this means is that she functions more like a three-year-old, and has a hard time with even the most basic communication. She is, and always will be my one conundrum: my intricate riddle, my question that has no answer. While she is often the topic of many of my creative nonfiction essays, like this post's excerpt, I know that no matter how much exploring I do, I'll never be able to figure her, or our relationship, out.

It seems that, lately, it's most common for brides and grooms to choose their siblings as their maid of honor or best man. And I love that. Family members are built-in friends, and people that will always be there, so why not give them important positions on the important wedding day? I struggled for a long time trying to decide what my sister's role would be in my wedding. I knew that I wanted her to stand up for me--yet, for her, to stand up for a long period of time is about as easy as it is for a three-year-old to sit still. And, quite frankly, I worried about her being in front of a group of people... would those who didn't know her stare? would she interrupt the service with one of her favorite phrases, don't argue with me?

And so, I decided that she would, indeed, stand up, but while sitting next to my parents. And I made an even bigger decision, too. I had been constantly wishing that I could have a sister who could be my maid of honor, and after talking to my fiance about it, he said to me, "Then have your sister as your maid of honor. We can figure out the toasts and all that later." And it was as easy as that. Simply because Paige can't throw me a bachelorette party, or give an eloquent speech before dinner doesn't mean that I can't still give her the title that I want her to have.

This morning, as I was sitting with her on the couch, waiting to put her on the bus for school, she was singing along to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and bobbing her head back and forth to the music. Just seeing how happy she always is was a reminder that I had made a good choice. She will probably do so much more for me than most maids of honor--in her good personality and patient joy, I'm sure that she will remind me to simply be happy on the big day, like she always is.

L. Stacks

Spring Break!

Since I am still a college student, albeit a graduate college student, I get a nice week-long vacation, and it always seems to fall nicely, right when I think that I can't possibly handle anything else or attend one more class. And as of 8:30 p.m. yesterday, I am officially on break!

While I'm not going to Florida or Mexico like some of the college students in the class I'm student teaching, I am going someplace: to my hometown, in Michigan. While I won't be able to work on my tan or drink icy margaritas, I will hopefully be able to get some writing done, and work on getting ahead with homework, since I've been finding myself lagging a bit. I'm hoping that by the time I get back to Chicago next Friday it will look a lot greener, like pictured above.

But don't worry, I'm not going to be studious the whole break. Today, my college roommate is coming to visit and next weekend is a bachelorette party for one of my current roommates. So, on that note, cheers!

L. Stacks

I Love: Exercise!

Last week, I had a very blah-ish kind of week. I was so unmotivated all week long, and just felt tired, even after a good night's sleep. And I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time hunkering down and just doing when I needed to get done. But I've figured it out: I didn't go to the gym last week, not even once.

Lately, I've been taking little classes at the gym, or walking on the incline treadmill, and I've been pretty good--going abut four times a week. And after my hiatus last week, I've found that working out is something that actually helps me work better. I actually have more energy during the day when I've worked out, and obviously those exercise endorphins make me a lot less gloomy. It's kind of ironic, because I skipped out on going to the gym last week because I was overwhelmed with how much I needed to do: and if I would have just gone and exercised for a half an hour or so, I probably would have been much more productive than I actually was.

This morning, I woke up and went to a class, and already I'm feeling a lot better than last week. It probably helped that the instructor was an awesome, perky man who played songs from Spring Awakening, Rent, and Glee while we cardio sculpted, he he.

L. Stacks

Bed-Making and Family Visits

This weekend my parents and younger brother are coming to visit! I'm excited to show them around the city and enjoy the warm weather.

My mom and I are going dress shopping, which is something that I'm looking forward to and also dreading. I just really dislike how pushy most of the saleswomen are, and how that can ruin the whole dress-buying experience. Personally, I don't like going into store where salespeople are constantly following you around, telling you how great something looks, or suggesting high-priced clothing. Anyway, wish me luck!

This morning, while I was doing some last minute cleaning to get the apartment looking spic and span for the big visit, I was making my bed, stretching and arranging my sheets and blankets and pillows. As I was doing so, I realized that I make my bed just like my Grandma Stacks always did... with the sheets and blankets tucked down rather than hiding under the pillows. I can remember my first lesson in bed-making, when I was probably nine or ten, and my Grandma instructed me on how to fold down first the quilts, and then the sheets. It was like in a hotel, she explained. And I always liked that. It's funny how, for all these years, I haven't realized that I inherited my bed-making skills from her--but I'm glad.

Have a wonderful weekend.

L. Stacks

Rock Out

Thank you all for your very sweet comments yesterday! It's nice to have so many supportive friends--especially those who aren't necessarily members of the literary community but still are interested in my work as a writer.

Do you ever think about what you would have liked to have done if you hadn't chosen the career/life path that you did? I, for one, sometimes wish that I could have had a background in musical theatre--singing, dancing, acting, and dressing up, they're all so glamorous to me. I guess maybe musical theatre is kind of like writing in its own way... either way, we're telling someone else's story, and trying to make it interesting, and resonate.

That said, I have a confession--though some of you may already know--one of my most favorite things to do is to play video games. Well, not video games, plural, but a specific video game:Rock Band.

This weekend T and I are in Iowa visiting his sister and her husband, and they ownGuitar Hero World Tour. I'll admit that I'm quite anxious to see how it shapes up compared to Rock Band--it doesn't have my favorite song to sing to, "Don't Speak" by No Doubt, but I am hopeful some other song might step up in its place.

[Playing Rock Band, January 2009]

So now it's back to the thesis grind, and I'm crossing my fingers that tonight we'll all be up for some rocking out so that I can fill some of the wishful musical theatre void in my life.

Have a rocking Saturday night. :)

L. Stacks

Catchin' a Train

Hello followers!

Today is blue and sunny, and I'm feeling so much better about this Chicago winter than I was yesterday--plus I'm about to hop on a train in a couple of hours to head to Michigan for the weekend to see my family for a night and to do some wedding planning. The last time I took the train home, this is what I got to glimpse out the window:

I'm excited for this weekend because I haven't seen my family since the engagement, and because my parents' puppy (who's not so much a puppy anymore) goes absolutely nuts over me when I walk in the door. Not to mention the fact that I'm meeting with a woman in Ann Arbor who sells wedding dresses on etsy to talk about getting a dress custom made!

I've decided I'm going to take a little blogging break until Monday in order to be very, very productive with my thesis writing (I need another 10 or so pages in exactly one week!). So check back with me on Monday, and hold me accountable for some quality writing by then.

L. Stacks

Warmer Days

I've been cooped up inside all day today, working on my thesis--a huge chunk of it is due next Thursday, and I've been making some pretty major changes, not to mention I'm trying to add about 15 pages to the beginning by then. All this work, and the temperature of our apartment is definitely making me wish for warmer Chicago days.

I'm ready for the city to look like this, for the trees to be green and the sky blue. I don't remember feeling this stir crazy last winter, but I bet I probably was.

Also, by the time summer rolls around here, I should have about 120 pages of my thesis done--more than half, hopefully, and most of what will be left should hopefully be expanding, explaining, and tweaking.

Oh, and not to mention the fact that once it's nice out I can sit on my little wool blanket in the park and write in a sunny little spot. And probably sip on an iced caramel latte.

But for now, I'll bundle up and keep on putting words down on paper, and sooner than I think, it will be warm, and those words will be a novel.

L. Stacks

Stuffy

Outside my window, a blizzard is brewing, and that, plus a stuffy head cold are keeping me inside our warm little apartment today. I'm going to curl up on the couch, read for school, and wait patiently for LOST tonight. Soon, I'll wander into our spare kitchen and heat up some chicken soup and hot tea on our very old stove.

Not only are my sinuses stuffed, I also feel like my head is just too full to function. Lately, there have been far too many things to think about: homework, wedding-planning, job-searching, novel-writing, and everything else. Maybe this day at home with my cold medicine will clear more than just my sinuses.

L. Stacks

Blue Mornings

Some mornings you wake up just feeling a bit blue. On mornings like these, I wish I was at my parents house, because then this beautiful little doggie would be sitting outside my bedroom door, holding something fluffy in his mouth, his tail whipping back and forth, hitting the wall with a sweet thud. If only we had someone that excited about us in every moment of our day.

[Mackinaw Stacks, December 2009]

L. Stacks