My Maid of Honor

One of the things that has been the hardest for me during this wedding-planning journey hasn't necessarily been figuring out the guest list, or choosing the caterer or even finding a wedding dress. Instead, the one thing that I keep thinking about is how to carve a place for my sister on my important day.

For those of you who don't know, my sister is a beautiful, happy, 21-year-old. She lives at home with my parents, is in school, and loves watching movies and sleeping. But she has Angelman's Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder on the autistic spectrum, and basically what this means is that she functions more like a three-year-old, and has a hard time with even the most basic communication. She is, and always will be my one conundrum: my intricate riddle, my question that has no answer. While she is often the topic of many of my creative nonfiction essays, like this post's excerpt, I know that no matter how much exploring I do, I'll never be able to figure her, or our relationship, out.

It seems that, lately, it's most common for brides and grooms to choose their siblings as their maid of honor or best man. And I love that. Family members are built-in friends, and people that will always be there, so why not give them important positions on the important wedding day? I struggled for a long time trying to decide what my sister's role would be in my wedding. I knew that I wanted her to stand up for me--yet, for her, to stand up for a long period of time is about as easy as it is for a three-year-old to sit still. And, quite frankly, I worried about her being in front of a group of people... would those who didn't know her stare? would she interrupt the service with one of her favorite phrases, don't argue with me?

And so, I decided that she would, indeed, stand up, but while sitting next to my parents. And I made an even bigger decision, too. I had been constantly wishing that I could have a sister who could be my maid of honor, and after talking to my fiance about it, he said to me, "Then have your sister as your maid of honor. We can figure out the toasts and all that later." And it was as easy as that. Simply because Paige can't throw me a bachelorette party, or give an eloquent speech before dinner doesn't mean that I can't still give her the title that I want her to have.

This morning, as I was sitting with her on the couch, waiting to put her on the bus for school, she was singing along to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and bobbing her head back and forth to the music. Just seeing how happy she always is was a reminder that I had made a good choice. She will probably do so much more for me than most maids of honor--in her good personality and patient joy, I'm sure that she will remind me to simply be happy on the big day, like she always is.

L. Stacks

Bed-Making and Family Visits

This weekend my parents and younger brother are coming to visit! I'm excited to show them around the city and enjoy the warm weather.

My mom and I are going dress shopping, which is something that I'm looking forward to and also dreading. I just really dislike how pushy most of the saleswomen are, and how that can ruin the whole dress-buying experience. Personally, I don't like going into store where salespeople are constantly following you around, telling you how great something looks, or suggesting high-priced clothing. Anyway, wish me luck!

This morning, while I was doing some last minute cleaning to get the apartment looking spic and span for the big visit, I was making my bed, stretching and arranging my sheets and blankets and pillows. As I was doing so, I realized that I make my bed just like my Grandma Stacks always did... with the sheets and blankets tucked down rather than hiding under the pillows. I can remember my first lesson in bed-making, when I was probably nine or ten, and my Grandma instructed me on how to fold down first the quilts, and then the sheets. It was like in a hotel, she explained. And I always liked that. It's funny how, for all these years, I haven't realized that I inherited my bed-making skills from her--but I'm glad.

Have a wonderful weekend.

L. Stacks

Happy Holidays & Welcome 2010!

During December my blogging yet again grew sluggish, but just like everyone else out there, I have made some New Year's resolutions, and one of them includes blogging 4 days a week. So, readers, kindly remind me to keep this goal if you feel another drought coming in the Book Ends world. I am planning on adding some new features to my blog in the upcoming year, and sharing with you some writing I polished during December, and some crafts I made as well.

And now, for a couple details from my Christmas holiday.

Below, Ike (my parents' elf) is smiling at you all from my parents' mantle. For the past twenty-some years, Ike has been coming to our house the day after Thanksgiving, staying until Christmas Eve when he joins Santa to return to the North Pole. He would "keep an eye" on my brother, sister and I and would be the first to report back to Santa if we were either naughty or nice.

It seems that Ike must have decided we were all nice this year, since we had a very big pile of presents under our tree. My mom surprised my dad and brother with tickets to see John Mayer in concert, and my dad in turn surprised my mom with a new cell phone, complete with texting.

And while everyone else is hunkering down to the work grind, I still have three more weeks left in my Winter break. Starting out my year as a writer certainly is one way to keep holiday cheer going!

More soon.

L. Stacks

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am thankful that I am able to spend time with my family and eat some delicious goodies (there will be a picture and recipe to follow for the yummiest Thanksgiving dessert ever). Traditionally, Thanksgiving is spent to remember the first Thanksgiving of the Pilgrims back in 1621--and the Native Americans who supplied these settlers with the food that probably saved their lives. It is easy to see the holiday as a symbolic one, and not stop to think about the impact that this gesture may have had on each of our individual lives, here and today.

When my grandmother was alive, she did a lot of genealogy research on the heritage of my family. And it turns out that the Stacks' side of my family can be directly connected to Mary Chilton, a young woman aboard the Mayflower, and often considered to be the first woman to step on shore at Plymouth Rock.

[Henry Bacon's Landing of the Pilgrims]

The year after the Mayflower landed, another ship, the Fortune, came and brought John Winslow, who would later become a prominent figure in the community. These two married, and one of their descendants, Fanny Winslow, married a member of the Stacks' family, and gave birth to my father's great-grandfather.

So what this post boils down to is that, if it weren't for those Native Americans who were willing to share their hard-earned food with the pilgrims, then I very well might not even exist. So, for me, that first Thanksgiving really was something to be thankful for.

L. Stacks

Some 'Splaning

I know, I know, I was doing so well. I had a nice little streak going there, blogging nearly every day for a couple of weeks. What happened to stop my productive blogginess? Well, here's some 'splaning:

One.

I've been working on a piece of flash creative nonfiction (yes, folks, that means that it's under 1,000 words) about... peas. Well, about peas but also about my sister who has Angelman's Syndrome. Oh, and kind of about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I'm having fun with it--trying to be a little less serious, and a little silly.

Two.

So, I started watching Lost at the beginning of the summer, and needless to say, I tried to hold off until Christmas break before I let myself get completely up-to-date. However, I found myself in a moment of weakness, and watched the Season 5 premiere a few days ago. I haven't been able to stop since.

Three.

As I told you in my last post, I watched my little brother run in Michigan's High School State Finals two weekends ago. That's my brother, on the far left, leading. In fact, he took the lead at about the half-mile mark, and lead all the way until the finish. Not only was he the individual division 4 state champion, but his team also won the meet. It was hard to get the rest of my homework done that weekend, since my family and I were too busy celebrating the success of my brother--and the Concord guys' team!

Hope you all have had a lovely few weeks--and I'll try to keep you all posted as I head home for Thanksgiving break, finish out my third semester of my MFA, and start the holiday season!

L. Stacks

Zoom Zoom

This weekend, the midwest is taking off her winter coat and warming up to the 60s. I'm going to spend plenty of time outside at this site, watching my little brother run in the Michigan cross country State Finals. Kyle (see his speedy picture below) is ranked first in his division, and so is his high school team. I'm warming up my vocal chords and tying up my dusty running shoes in order to zip from place to place in order to cheer him on.

[Track State Meet Spring 2009]

I've been thinking about my little brother a lot lately, trying to send him good ju-ju during all of the cross country meets I've missed this season. And I've realized something: Kyle is the only member of my family that I have yet to write a poem about. It's not that I don't think my brother is worthy of a poem, or that I don't want to write something about him--instead, it's more that I don't think that I can quite pin him down enough (nor do i want to) in order to write a poem about him yet. He's in the midst of making college decisions, trying to run his heart out, and being an eighteen-year-old boy. I don't want to try to make sense of him yet, to put that out into the world until he's made sense of himself.

So instead, I'll just cheer hard, and cross my fingers for him. Go little brother!

L. Stacks