Why I Write

I had the loveliest thing ever happen to me last week, and I've been hemming and hawing over whether or not to share it here, because it might sound a little like I'm tooting my own horn. But I've decided to share because, ultimately, this little story is about writing--and why I, personally, write.

While I was in Denver, overwhelmed by the number of successful writers around me, it was easy to feel a little discouraged. Sure, I have three poems published in a delightful anthology, but the high from one's first publication can only last so long before a writer starts feeling pressure for another publication, and then another and another. But then, I went back to our hotel one night, and found a positively uplifting email in my inbox.

It went a little something like this: A woman, a librarian in upstate New York, emailed me and told me that she loved Naomi Shihab Nye, and had run out and picked up her anthology as soon as she heard about it. When she finished reading the book, she looked back at her favorite poems, and realized that a lot of them were, well, written by me. She could have simply ended the email right there, and I would have been giddy simply knowing that I had stood out in a anthology of 25 poets to someone out there. But, she continued: at a faculty meeting at her school, she had decided she wanted to read my poem, "Rain, Snow, and Other Weather," at the beginning of the meeting. She read aloud, but when she got to the last two lines, she found herself crying and unable to finish. One of her co-workers had to finish reading the last lines for her.

This, my friends, is why I write. And in the literary community, in an MFA program, and surround by successful writers, it is sometimes easy to forget about this. Many people write to be "artsy," to be published, or to make money. But what I've always loved about reading was how it could touch you, how the words could leap off the page and mean something, even though they came from someone else's mind, someone else's experience. In the past, I've been told that my poetry is "sentimental" and often, there is a touch of distain that comes with that word, especially when uttered by writers who reach only for the artistic. But me, I'm fine with being sentimental if it means that I can touch the average person, if it means that my writing can go beyond just the literary community, and into the lives of those who might not have an MFA or a PhD, who let my words show them a mirror of themselves.

L. Stacks

Photo: weheartit

Back in Chicago, Sea-Level

Lovely readers, I'm back from Denver, and while I had a great time during my whirlwind visit, I'm glad to be back at sea-level. I was really surprised how much the altitude messed with me--I woke up with headaches each morning, and felt exhausted by 10 p.m. each night. Chicago is now fully green and blooming, and all the extra air sure feels nice in my lungs. I only took a few pictures during my trip, so here a just a few:

16th Street Mall, with its Free Mallride and streets without any cars allowed

Cute Larimer Square, where I ate at a delicious French restaurant.

The Capital Building, in Capital Hill, where we stayed.

Overall, my trip was a blast. I did tons of writerly things--attended a reading by George Saunders and listened to Michael Chabon speak (and I'm currently reading his book The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay!). I got lots of free literary magazines, made some great contacts, and even had lunch with a friend whom I met on a plane ride in January!

I attended some great panels, and others that weren't so great. But they all had wonderful titles: Mommy, I'm Having an Existential Crisis!: Voices of Children in Fiction; All Around Bitch: The Challenges of Writing Unlikeable Female Protagonists; and Sick Humor: What's Not Funny About Serious Disease? On Saturday evening, we went out to what is apparently a Denver hotspot, The Whiskey Bar, where baseball fans could bring their ticket stub and get a free PBR after the game.

I'd definitely love to go back to Denver when I have more time. And I'm already planning on attending next year's AWP Conference in Washington D.C.--I just haven't told my fiance yet.

L. Stacks

Denver, Here I Come!

Well, readers, I'm jetting off to Denver, CO for a very busy 5-day trip. I will be attending the AWP conference, which, for those of you non-writers, is one of the biggest literary conversations in the nation, and includes over 8,000 guests each year. I'm excited to browse the bookfair (and pick up some new issues of literary magazines), attend panels (and hopefully receive some good writing advice) and mingle with some writer friends who I haven't seen a couple of years (and hopefully make some new ones). Not to mention, I'm planning on doing a little exploring of Denver, since I've never been before.

I'll try to post a little while I'm there, but it's going to depend on my internet connection and the amount of free time I'll have.

Mountain Time, here I come!

L. Stacks

Photo found here.

I Love: Exercise!

Last week, I had a very blah-ish kind of week. I was so unmotivated all week long, and just felt tired, even after a good night's sleep. And I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time hunkering down and just doing when I needed to get done. But I've figured it out: I didn't go to the gym last week, not even once.

Lately, I've been taking little classes at the gym, or walking on the incline treadmill, and I've been pretty good--going abut four times a week. And after my hiatus last week, I've found that working out is something that actually helps me work better. I actually have more energy during the day when I've worked out, and obviously those exercise endorphins make me a lot less gloomy. It's kind of ironic, because I skipped out on going to the gym last week because I was overwhelmed with how much I needed to do: and if I would have just gone and exercised for a half an hour or so, I probably would have been much more productive than I actually was.

This morning, I woke up and went to a class, and already I'm feeling a lot better than last week. It probably helped that the instructor was an awesome, perky man who played songs from Spring Awakening, Rent, and Glee while we cardio sculpted, he he.

L. Stacks

Bummer Tuesday & Thesis Work

My apologies to my faithful readers who have been waiting patiently for a new blogpost (that's you, Kristina!), but Monday and Tuesday were a bit hectic for some reason. Yesterday I was planning on blogging about the anthology release, but I just ended up really bummed out because neither Barnes & Noble or Border's had the book in yet, and mine hadn't arrived in the mail. (At one point, I looked outside and a brown box was sticking out of the top of our mailbox. Giddy, I ran outside in my slippers, but it was an Anthropologie box for one of my roomates... needless to say I was pretty let down, but at least it was a package from my favorite store.)

Anway, I did get quite a bit of my thesis writtten over the weekend, and then I also got an extension, which I really hate to do, but I want the chapters I turn in to be pretty decently revised so that my thesis readers don't just reiterate what I've already heard in workshop.

Writing takes a lot of time for me. I'm sure I've shared this before, but I'll go ahead and do it again... I always, always write by hand. If I don't write by hand, the quality diminished and people can actually tell the difference! (I had a professor in undergrad who picked out the 4 people in the class that had written an assignment by hand, and on the second day of class, even!) I write on lined paper, in all capital letters, very slowly. This is so that I don't get ahead of myself--in fact, I try to only think about the sentence that I am writing that very second.

Then, a couple of days later I take my computer out and type up everything that I've written, and do a very small first revision. I try not to make huge changes, but just tweak some things or add some minute description. This is the part that I dislike the most, the point that feel so time-consuming. But after 4 years of writing this way, I am 100% convinced that it is actually the fastest way to write. (Slow and steady wins the race, anyone?)

So this week I'm just taking it slow and working on the scenes that need some help in my thesis. I think I'll have about 12 more pages to write by Monday, but I'm not too worried--actually, I'm pretty excited because 12 more pages would put my total word count over 100 pages!

Happy (slow) writing,

L. Stacks

Catchin' a Train

Hello followers!

Today is blue and sunny, and I'm feeling so much better about this Chicago winter than I was yesterday--plus I'm about to hop on a train in a couple of hours to head to Michigan for the weekend to see my family for a night and to do some wedding planning. The last time I took the train home, this is what I got to glimpse out the window:

I'm excited for this weekend because I haven't seen my family since the engagement, and because my parents' puppy (who's not so much a puppy anymore) goes absolutely nuts over me when I walk in the door. Not to mention the fact that I'm meeting with a woman in Ann Arbor who sells wedding dresses on etsy to talk about getting a dress custom made!

I've decided I'm going to take a little blogging break until Monday in order to be very, very productive with my thesis writing (I need another 10 or so pages in exactly one week!). So check back with me on Monday, and hold me accountable for some quality writing by then.

L. Stacks

Warmer Days

I've been cooped up inside all day today, working on my thesis--a huge chunk of it is due next Thursday, and I've been making some pretty major changes, not to mention I'm trying to add about 15 pages to the beginning by then. All this work, and the temperature of our apartment is definitely making me wish for warmer Chicago days.

I'm ready for the city to look like this, for the trees to be green and the sky blue. I don't remember feeling this stir crazy last winter, but I bet I probably was.

Also, by the time summer rolls around here, I should have about 120 pages of my thesis done--more than half, hopefully, and most of what will be left should hopefully be expanding, explaining, and tweaking.

Oh, and not to mention the fact that once it's nice out I can sit on my little wool blanket in the park and write in a sunny little spot. And probably sip on an iced caramel latte.

But for now, I'll bundle up and keep on putting words down on paper, and sooner than I think, it will be warm, and those words will be a novel.

L. Stacks

Submitting!

To hold myself more accountable to submitting more often (because how else can a writer get published except by constantly, constantly submitting?), I am going to share with you all the contests and such that I'm planning to submit to in the next few months.

February 15th (this Monday!!)

Chicago Tribune's Nelson Algren Award

For this contest, I am going to submit a short story, "Stick Shift," that I wrote two years ago now, and that I've been sitting on since then. I wanted to wait to send it out, to see if any insight would flash before my eyes, to make sure I knew it was "done." And for the past two years I simply have not thought of even one single thing that could change this story, the main character, or the ending. So, I think it's ready.

February 26th

National Society of Arts and Letters Competition in Short Story Writing (Illinois Chapter)

NSAL requires each writer to submit a short story written in first person, and another written in third person. I'll be honest: I'm not positive what first person story I'll turn in (I might have to search through the archives) but for the third person story I'll probably try to send out a chapter of my novel. Luckily, I have a couple weeks to figure this out.

March 31st

The Poetry Foundation's Ruth Lilly Poetry Fellowship

I'm actually pretty excited to apply for this fellowship. This submission is limited to poets between the ages of 21 and 31 and must include 10 poems and a 250-word essay about the poet's work. I am crossing my fingers that my inclusion in Nye's 25 poets under 25 anthology will be a nice publication to have on my resume for this fellowship.

Wish me luck!

L. Stacks

Happy Holidays & Welcome 2010!

During December my blogging yet again grew sluggish, but just like everyone else out there, I have made some New Year's resolutions, and one of them includes blogging 4 days a week. So, readers, kindly remind me to keep this goal if you feel another drought coming in the Book Ends world. I am planning on adding some new features to my blog in the upcoming year, and sharing with you some writing I polished during December, and some crafts I made as well.

And now, for a couple details from my Christmas holiday.

Below, Ike (my parents' elf) is smiling at you all from my parents' mantle. For the past twenty-some years, Ike has been coming to our house the day after Thanksgiving, staying until Christmas Eve when he joins Santa to return to the North Pole. He would "keep an eye" on my brother, sister and I and would be the first to report back to Santa if we were either naughty or nice.

It seems that Ike must have decided we were all nice this year, since we had a very big pile of presents under our tree. My mom surprised my dad and brother with tickets to see John Mayer in concert, and my dad in turn surprised my mom with a new cell phone, complete with texting.

And while everyone else is hunkering down to the work grind, I still have three more weeks left in my Winter break. Starting out my year as a writer certainly is one way to keep holiday cheer going!

More soon.

L. Stacks

Home Improvement

So I'm officially a second-year MFA candidate, and seeing what it's like to live the life of a writer (with a few babysitting gigs thrown in here and there). So far, however, the life I've been living looks a lot more like I want to be a HGTV host rather than that of the next Hemingway. In the past week and a half, I've completed a move across the city (from Bucktown to lovely Lakeview) and have been hard at work making the new place into home--painting my Harry-Potter room Soothing Green Tea green, supplying a poem-of-the-week for my two ever-supportive housemates, and filling up my sturdy handmade bookcase (thanks, Dad!).

Now that I'm settled into the place, I'm hoping the inspiring photography on the walls, the fresh paint and our beautiful "secret garden" in the backyard will help me write.write.write.
So far, I've been working on a creative nonfiction essay about peas (yes, like the nasty little vegetables) and letting a few poems simmer (maybe I'll finally get my northern Michigan poem to feel just right). I have three poems due for workshop this coming Tuesday, and an eight-page creative nonfiction essay due on Thursday, so I'll have more writing updates to come--and maybe an excerpt or two!

Get out and enjoy the fall weather--I think I've decided this is my favorite part of the year.

L. Stacks

Countdown To My "New Job"

My summer nannying job is officially over, and so now I'm down to 5 days until I start my new job: being a writer. I don't think I've ever been so excited about starting a new job before, probably because what I get to do this fall is what I actually want to do in life.

I get to wake up early, workout (because a writer needs to feel active) and eat some breakfast. I get to blog regularly (!) and read other writer-ly blogs and literary magazines. I'll do my homework and write poetry, creative nonfiction, and work on my novel. I'll workshop others' pieces, and actually revise some of my own. I'll send.stuff.out. and then send.out.some.more. I will write by hand, and make lists, and let my poems simmer.

I am so thankful that I have this time to be able to do this: that my rent is getting cut in half, and part of my tuition is waived, and I'll be receiving a stipend for my graduate assistant position through Roosevelt University. And happy that I have support from so many of my loved ones--and hopefully they'll support me by gently reminding me to get back on task if I fall into a Lost-watching slump.

So, plan on hearing from me more once my "new job" starts next week. Ask me what I'm working on, and how the full-time writing is going. And I'll share with you what I learn about being a writer, and hopefully, being happy. Oh, and maybe I'll give you some more writing excerpts while I'm at it.

L. Stacks