Sunday, June 7, 2009

Missing

Until a couple of months ago, I nannied for a little 3-year-old girl. I'll call her Belle, because she desperately wants to be a Disney princess. I saw her a couple times a week, for eight to ten hours a day. It's funny how fast one can grow attached to a child. I don't think I even knew it happened until I started a job with a new family.

I babysat her last week when her mom was out of town. It was old-hat, we spent the day together just like usual--"baking" play-doh cookies, singing Disney songs, and coloring. At lunch, the water was on the stove and we were waiting for it to boil so we could make Annie's Mac n' Cheese (the best boxed kind, in my opinion). Belle came over to me, climbed into my lap. She nestled her head into my shoulder, murmuring. "Huh?" I asked. She looked up at me. "I really missed you," she said. 

I don't like all the missing in life. 

I used to have sleepovers on the trampoline when I was in high school with my little next-door-neighbor, six years younger. She was afraid of thunderstorms, but now she's in high school and wants tattoos and dreadlocks. I've missed out on so much, and yet she still calls me her "sis." 

And right now, as I type, I'm probably missing out on an episode of Law & Order on TNT, and my parents' puppy losing his baby teeth, and the sun going down outside my living room window. I'm missing people in Michigan, my old college town, and walking to Sattler's for a crunch cone. 

But most of all, lately, I've been missing writing--and this book ends site. 

I decided I wasn't going to let myself miss it any longer. So here I am, even when I feel like I have nothing smart to say, nothing new to report. 

Hello, book ends, I've missed you. 

L. Stacks

3 comments:

Adam Morgan said...

"Awwwwwwwwww!"

Lisa Katzenberger said...

Welcome back to the blog world, Lauren! I do, by the way, miss you, not just your blog posts, although I hope that makes you feel better and not worse!

Mel said...

Haha, Adam stole my comment. Also you inspire me, haha.